Thoughts for the day.

I am more in touch with myself now than I have ever been. I did my first solitary full moon ritual last night.... SKYCLAD!! I was so proud of myself. There was no one to un-impress, but I think I did a great job with it. Also, I did a "An it harm none, do as ye will" for a few people, it felt great. Even better because Jeff participated with me.

I am really frustrated right now. I've had a migraine for literally 43 days. They've done all kinds of things to get rid of it, and nothing is working. Tuesday, I go see the doctor. It is hard to function, and my chron's disease is giving me fits. I feel like I am whining, but seriously... I am so sick of being sick. Every day for 9 days I have been sick. I've only thrown up twice, but the stomach pain, irritability, and pain stemming from it is debilitating. I am physically ran down.

I am headed to the coast in a couple of hours, to meet my dad. He headed there tuesday, & Jeff & I are meeting him there tonight, through sunday, for some family time. I am secretly concerned that it may be the last chance I have for this. I am frustrated with time. Trying to do everything, be everywhere, and get everything done while feeling 10% well is the pits. I'm so dizzy right now, the room is spinning all around me, but I can't stop. I have to go take a shower, do my hair & makeup. Finish the laundry. FUCK vacuuming.. I was going to do that, but I have too much other stuff to do... Pack... go to auto oil changers & ask them why my car is leaking oil now, when it wasn't when I took it there... and drive to Morro Bay afterwards. I forgot the part about going to the store & picking up Jeff from work.

I'm just frustrated. And Jeff called me on the phone asking me what capris I was asking for... and his attitude was shitty. I didn't do anything. His attitude sucked though, and it brings me down when he's shitty to me for no reason, and it doesn't phase him at all... its his normal mode, so, I don't ever know how to handle it.
He wants to know if we're paying my dad [for my insurance policy] with a check, and of course I don't know.. so I called my dad to find out... twice... and he's not answering. He has a cell phone, but won't answer it. Has a cell phone, but won't set up the voice mail. Has a cell phone but refuses to learn to text... what is the point of paying $60 a month for a cell phone, when you choose to not use it??

See.... a rather pointless blog... but shit I had to get off my chest. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I need less stress. Ironic, how no matter how happy I am, stress is still in the center of it all.