There are many things I need to forgive me for. None of which I am prepared to actually do yet. Starting with my temper, and the resolute level of temperment that doesn't simmer down. The biggest thing I have to forgive is... being a civilian.
[Raptor]
I don't think I was ever intended to be a civilian. I was pre-destined to be military like I was predestined to be awesome with shears & makeup. I... should be up every day at 0430, at the gym at 0500, reporting for flight briefings by 0630 and in the air, in a JET all day long. Touch & goes, flight ops, bombing runs, and aircraft carriers, breaking the sound barrier.
[Super Hornet]
Doing my part. BUT I'm not. The mistakes leading me up to THIS path, I may never forgive myself for. I don't know that I'd have been ABLE to carry through with that dream.
[Joint Strike Fighter]
My health hasn't been great... ever, really. But especially since I was 15. So the question is, would it be better, if I was living my #1 dream? Can't say. I can say, I can't even complete school for dream #2, because of said health issues. Will I ever forgive these things? Probably not. Will I ever voice the other things I need to forgive myself for? Probably not. I'm too much of a masochist for that kind of catharsis.
[[&&In case anyone is feeling the need to be a smartass, I realize that the Hornet/Super Hornet is a crossover jet and that one type of JSF will be Navy, another will be USMC and the majority will be airforce and that the Raptor will go to the highest bidder. So, save critical commentary for someone who will not crush you in this argument.]]
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